Understanding

So...I know what my problem was, why I was so attached to Guy F. We had something amazing. Great relationship. The problem was that we had gotten so deep into the relationship, planning our futures together that my present life was shaped around our future plans. I was set to graduate on time so that I could go be with him after graduation. I was looking at law schools in California. I was looking for jobs close to where he is stationed now. Like, my whole present day life was revolved around our future. Our plans were so close to the present that I had already begun to change my life. I was ready to go be a military wife. Then, all of a sudden it all changed. In the blink of an eye my whole world was upside down. Discussing it now, the situation sounds extremely sad and pitiful. Before you judge me though, let me explain..

When you're in a relationship with someone in the military and you plan to be with them for the rest of your life or even an extended period of time, your life changes. Yours, not theirs. They are in the military. Their life is already basically being controlled by someone else. You have to adjust your life to work with theirs. That is if you want to live with them, which in that case means you're going to be married. You have to be prepared to move at any time to any place. So you must always have a passport because you very well could be sent out of the country. You must be prepared to not see them at all hours of the day. You could only see them two hours out of every day, once a week, or even once a year. Their job and where they have to be depends on how much time you actually get to spend with them. You have to be independent (clearly) the relationship will not survive if you're too dependent upon them. You have to be able to function by yourself. These are just some of the basics, but you should be able to understand.

That life, the life of a military wife, is the life I was prepared for. I didn't actually plan on pursuing my career fully until he was done with the service. I was accustomed to not speaking to him every day and not seeing him very often. And to have it all taken away in the blink of an eye was almost nearly like having culture shock. I couldn't just automatically revert back to a completely civilian relationship lifestyle. Like now, I don't like talking to a guy every single day simply because I never talked to Guy F every single day. I don't want to see a guy all the time. I'm used to the military relationship style. It's going to take a while for me to revert back to civilian relationships. It wasn't a quick and easy transition to military. I doubt it will be quick and easy back to civilian. I need time.

Well I have to go to work now. I will try to post again later. Have a great day everyone!

Until next time...

-Signed,

Love