Part 4- Post Break-Up

Post Break-Up: I was an absolute mess. I could not eat nor sleep. I barely wanted anything to drink. I was just trudging through life. I had a brief moment where I had a fling with a new guy, but it didn't last long. I was just trying to fill a void. Guy C tried to fit his way back into my life, but that was a no go for me. I missed Guy F. I knew it, but I refused to accept it. I tried to run away from my feelings, from him, from everything. It didn't work. Running away doesn't work. So I lost myself in other things: music, tumblr, and poetry. It was healthy for the time being. Somewhere along the road of me getting over him, Guy F popped back up and into my life.

October: By this time I was beginning to feel better. I was finally getting over him. Then, out of nowhere, he does the most peculiar thing- he tweets me! It bothered me. I didn't want him to try to contact me. I had changed my twitter name just so he couldn't find me, and the fact that he tweeted me let me know that he knew my new twitter name. It ticked me off. I ignored the tweet for a few days, but eventually my curiosity got the best of me. (Yes, I know. "Curiosity killed the cat." Blah Blah.) So I replied to his tweet. He tried to carry on this conversation with me over twitter and it annoyed me. So I sent him a direct message, which is basically a personal message. I asked him what he wanted. The forced conversation through tweets was annoying me. He said he just wanted to check up on me. Although, he did miss me. He swore he only wanted to check on me. I told him I was fine. I was going to leave it at that, but I couldn't. I started ranting about how he made me feel. How he just went from "I love you" to completely ignoring me and treating me like I didn't exist. We argued for some time about whether or not I still had feelings for him. He wanted to Skype with me. I didn't want anything to do with him. He finally got tired of (theoretically) being yelled at and left it alone. I stopped messaging him. After I calmed down I told him we could Skype so that we could talk.  We skyped before I went to class the next morning. I was nervous about seeing him and talking to him, but I did it anyway. I don't know what I expected. I guess I thought he would look happier. He looked just as miserable as I felt. I could tell that he had barely been eating. As angry as I wanted to be it broke my heart to see him in such disarray. We were both a mess. I knew I still loved him, but I wanted to fight it. We talked, and he explained. He explained how stupid he felt and how much he missed me. He told me how he got so used to the attention that while I was asleep and he was awake (there was a huge time difference between us since he was in another country), he found somewhere..or should I say someone else to get attention from. He said it just didn't work though. All he could do was think about me. He missed me. He just wanted me. He missed talking to me, everything about me. Now, I didn't just fall for this as soon as I heard it. I didn't trust him and I damn sure didn't forgive him. I told him we could be friends again and see where things went. Lo and behold by the end of December we were back together. Things just sort of fell into place. It was like we were just meant to be. And the best part? He was scheduled to come home in March!

Yeah...post break-up, getting back together, and March...this story has one more installment. Will that installment be the last? Probably not. BUT, it is where the story basically catches up to real time.

Until next time...

-Signed,

Love